d. Helpful Self-Talk

Shame is my cue to connect.

There might be a reason that your anxiety or OCD content is stuck. It isn’t because of the content. It’s never because of the content. It might be because of shame. It’s okay to feel shame. It’s a feeling, not a fact or prediction. Let’s go towards it.  Shame is the feeling you have when …

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Run after the bus, sometimes.

Hi there, Group. Great week. Question for you: When you are half a block away and people are getting on the bus you’re about to miss, what do you do?  Your answer helps us understand your experience during incidental exposure.  The short answer is run after the bus, sometimes. Flexibly. Humorously. Like your life depends on …

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I’ll do it scared.

Try this self-talk when you’re scared and see what happens: “I’m not sure what will kill me, but it won’t be shame.” The content typically matters when you’re feeling is shame. If you think a component of your suffering is shame, find a way to get some words around that, either by talking or by writing or …

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I’ll do that slowly.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.Think of the most miraculous of your accomplishments.Getting yourself created. Nailed it. It took 9 months. Walking. Nice job. Another 9 months at least. Talking. You babbled your way through it. Most people didn’t understand you for years. Reading, writing, and learning to code also took years. These are just external milestones. You were …

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Of course I suffer.

Let’s talk more about self-criticism and self-compassion.  Your suffering isn’t just because of recurrent unwanted intrusive thoughts, chronic worry, a depressed mood, or another uncomfortable private experience. The interpretation that you shouldn’t have such an experience and that there is something bad, weak, or crazy about you for such experience creates, maintains, and intensifies your suffering …

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My present is a gift.

Let’s elaborate on building a compassionate attitude towards the present moment.  While anxious, so many sufferers have critical thoughts like, I’m supposed to be mindful right now. I should be using my skills. I’m not doing this right. It makes everything worse. If this is you, try cueing yourself with My present moment is a gift I can offer myself right …

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Meet Wise Mind

Do you have a toddler? When he reaches for the hot stove, do you yell “No!”? Consider yelling “Danger!” Kids, like adults, need to learn the difference between fear and danger. The problem with “No!” is that it doesn’t help you clarify that difference. If, when you feel fear and you think, “Oh no!,” not …

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