It takes humility and courage to accurately assess where you are and commit to the next step. If you feel intense anxiety getting out of your house, the idea of obtaining and committing to a job on a daily basis might seem beyond what’s possible for you. If you feel intense anxiety sending an introductory …
A helpful goal is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This is opposed to non-specific, vague, emotionally-driven, or unattainable goals. As an example, “I’d like to be more confident” is not a helpful goal, because it is not specific, measurable, attainable, or time-bound. It is vague and unmeasurable and unattainable. Sure, you could measure your …
In contrast to a goal, which is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound, values are aspirational traits that you’d like to embody. Your values signify your life process, the journey that you pursue during your time here on earth. Your values are not something that you can complete or check off. They are not a place …
As you learn to disarm anxiety, knowing its patterns is one of your best strategies. One part of the pattern of suffering that anxious people experience is anticipatory anxiety, which is the feeling of dread about an upcoming thought, feeling, sensation, or situation that might bring about the feared situation. Individuals with anxiety disorders typically …
Let’s discuss what individuals with anxiety disorders often do instead of self-monitoring, identifying, labeling and allowing dread: Listening to dread by avoiding Because individuals with anxiety disorders characteristically avoid what they are thinking and feeling, they don’t recognize their dread as part of the pattern of anxiety. Rather it feels like information, as though whatever …
Responding effectively to anxiety is a challenging skill that develops experientially with time and practice. Think of a challenging skill you’ve acquired in your life: riding a bike, learning to read, speaking a foreign language or learning a programming language, or playing a sport. You didn’t have trust in your ability to execute those skills …
Avoidance happens. Avoidance creates every type of suffering. You suffer. Suffering is pain plus resistance. Resistance and avoidance are functionally synonymous. Sometimes acting in accordance with your values and experiential avoidance will be the same behaviors. The difference between your values-driven action and avoidance is your attitude. Workable behavior is a dynamic adaptation based on your context, rather …
I was talking to a client filled with regret about waiting until late in his life to pursue the romantic relationships he always wanted, and I had the thought, “The belief that ‘I have to meet some arbitrary criteria in order to live my life’ is a really problematic one. Later that day I had …